Vanilla Turtles
by Open-Heart-Open-Mind
Summary: From the world of Wreck It Ralph and Mario; Laugh at the unending puns and video game references in this goofy and heartwarming story of two friends! For the isolated Bowser Jr making friends as never been easy, but when Vanellope comes literally crashing into his life, the computer screen starts to get brighter.
1. Chapter 1

Vanilla Turtles

Chapter 1 Running Start

Vanellope watched with drooping eyes as a gummy bear fell over for the upteenth time and she decided she needed to see Ralph before she died of boredom. He was at a bad anon meeting so she would have to go there and get him. Vanellope didn't know why he still went to those since most people liked him now, something about not being the only bad guy who wasn't a bad guy. She stood up and started running/glitching toward the exit of Sugar Rush.

Glitching through the crowds at the station was fun in itself, being the mischievous girl she was Vanellope liked tripping snooty NPC's and scaring damsel in distress characters, heck it was one of her favorite non-racing activities. After flipping some princess character's skirt up and glitching away too fast for anyone to see, she was nearing Ralph's group in Pacman. She skidded to a halt in front of the door that read "Bad Anon Support Group: adult villains only" She wasn't either of those things but reached for the knob anyways. "You're not allowed to do that, they'll just toss you out if you go in dummy." Vanellope turned to see a turtle/dragon/porcupine creature that seemed like a kid, staring at her.

Vanellope didn't know who this kid was but nobody but her friends were allowed to call her a dummy. "Oh please, I bet you've never even tried pipsqueek."

The whatever it was turned red and glared at her, "I have so! And you're smaller than me syrup for brains!" Syrup for brains? This guy was good.

"So you're a liar AND a scaredy-shell? I almost feel sorry for you." Vanellope had let go of the doorknob by now and had her hands on her hips, the turtle kid looked angry now.

"I'm not scared of anything you stuck up sourpatch kid!" The turtle kid was hopping mad now, time for the bored dismissal.

"Whatever you say kid, but I need to see my friend so why don't you go play like a good little whatever you are." Vanellope used her most condescending grown up voice and waited retaliation, then the chase.

But she was surprised when the kid seemed to calm, "I'm a koopa bugeyes, and the only game I can play right now is TAG!" The koopa kid shoved Vanellope to the ground and ran off laughing maniacally.

Now most kids would cry after getting hit so hard, but Vanellope had played tag with Ralph, so this was nothing. The koopa was momentarily shocked to see a smiling candy girl running after him yelling, "Hey slowpoke you trying to lose?!" the duo ran out of Pacman and through the halls of game central station tearing up the place trying to beat the other. The koopa would knock things over and trip people to create obstacles while Vanellope glitched to avoid them and occasionally threw small objects at her target.

It wasn't fair but that was how they liked it, nothing but your goal and the fun. After the koopa kid knocked a guy in a purple suit into DDR Hello Kitty edition, Vanellope finally managed to glitch in front of him and pull off a pretty good tackle. "Tag! I win carrot top!" She was shoved off still laughing while the koopa stood up and got his bearings. He was about to yell at Vanellope when she stopped laughing and held out her hand, "I'm President Vanellope von Schweetz, what's your name buddy?" The boy stared incredulously at her gapped tooth smile then her outstretched hand, he cautiously took it into his own and she shook it enthusiastically.

The koopa stood up as straight as possible and tried to sound dignified as he recited the list of titles Kamek made him memorise. "I am Bowser Jr, crown prince of the koopas, Super villain in training, enemy of Mario-" He noticed Vanellope looking bored and possibly a bit disappointed "And I can burp the loudest of all my siblings, and I have seven!" That one had just come out, Kamek had told him it was nothing to brag about but if it made his dad laugh it had to be impressive.

Vanellope must have thought so too since she started laughing again right after he said it. "Can you do it on cue or do you need soda first?" She seemed genuinely interested which was new for Jr, the only person who ever took real interest in what he said was his dad. And between him, seven other kids, kingly duties (pffft, dooty.) and world domination, it was hard to get quality time together. But when they did Bowser always listened no matter how seemingly ridiculous the subject was.

"I can burp pretty loud on cue but for the really big ones I need a can or two, if I drink a whole liter I can make guards around me think there was an earthquake!" Jr's smile got bigger as he talked and Vanellope laughed again.

"Can you burp the ABC's? I can get up to X before I feel too nauseous to move." She made hand gestures and even stuck her tongue out and hugged her stomach at the end of the sentence, her enthusiasm was matched.

"Duh! It's easy, wanna see?!"

Vanellope bounced a bit in excitement, "Hershey yeah I wanna see!" Jr held back his own giggles with a deep breath and started. It wasn't the success at the challenge that was impressive, but the speed at which he accomplished it. The letters came in quick succession and Jr would often get two or three letters in one burp. At the end Jr actually sang,

"Now you know the ABC's-" he burped the letters in one go then went back to singing, "Next time won't you mouth fart with me!"

By this time Vanellope was on the floor laughing and gasping for air, "M-HAHAHA-m-mouth hehe f-haha-fart?!" She wiped a tear from her eye and tried to calm down,

"It was my brother Roy's idea, but he stole it from my 'butt burps' idea." This sent a new wave of giggles between them.

"JUNIOR! WHERE THE HECK DID YOU GO?!" a booming roar of a voice echoed through the station shocking everyone but Jr.

"That's my dad!" Jr turned to Vanellope, "I have to go or else he'll get worri- I mean get angry." Vanellope looked a bit disappointed but still smiled at him,

"It's okay, I'll get to see you later though, right BJ?" Junior was confused for a brief second before realizing those were his initials and apparently nickname.

"Sure, but why would you want to see me again?" Vanellope looked a bit stunned and even a little hurt,

"I thought we could be friends crocodile face." Friends? Junior didn't have friends. Kids were always scared of him or his family, they thought he played too rough and was a spoiled brat. But it wasn't his fault he and his family looked the way they did or that they were royalty, it wasn't his fault he was stronger than others and grew up in a military based culture, and it wasn't his fault he was taught by Kamek that he had to act proud to be a prince. He liked making people laugh but all his funny faces made them scream, he wanted to play games but he didn't know the rules, and he hated being alone in his room with piles of emotionless toys.

But this girl, Vanellope, wasn't scared of anything, she liked to play rough and break rules to have fun, and most importantly she wanted to be his friend. HIS FRIEND! His siblings were a few years older so they excluded him from a lot of their games, but Vanellope seemed to be the same age as him. Junior processed the information surprisingly well given his situation.

"I wanna be your friend!" Junior said it a bit louder than he meant to, Vanellope started beaming again so he forgot about that little detail.

"Cool! anytime you wanna hang out just jump through the sugar rush portal." Junior was about to ask where that was but he heard his dad yell,

"JUNIOR! I'M SERIOUS!" most would come to the conclusion Bowser had gotten angrier by the tone of his voice but his family knew it was actually panic.

"I really need to go but I'll see you tomorrow!" Junior ran as fast as his little legs could carry him back to his dad. Vanellope watched him go, and started thinking about what games she could make up including lollipops and marshmallow fluff.

Authors note:

Thanks for reading first of all, secondly I know you're probably confused about a few things. I will explain them in the following list.

Vanellope couldn't escape her game in the movie because she's a glitch. But in this fiction the author doesn't give a crap so let's just say she could leave after the reset.

I know the Koopalings are no longer officially Bowser's kids, but I love them as characters and I want to explore them more deeply.

Kamek was Bowser's caretaker when he was a baby so I think he would now be Junior's tutor. I imagine Kamek being old fashioned and uptight teaching Junior to be a traditional Koopa King.

Junior and Vanellope are 9 in this fic while the koopalings are 11-14.

The guy in the purple suit was the Joker from the Arkham Asylum games, don't worry he has no idea who pushed him but he and Batman will make a few more cameos.

4


	2. Chapter 2

Kahan 5

Vanilla Turtles

Chapter 2 Gaining momentum

The game day had ended and Junior was excited to see his new friend, you could tell because he ignored Luigi carrying a large cake to get to SR faster. He had gotten directions from Sonic who was pretty much the park ranger of Game Station. Junior reached the portal and hesitated. What if she wasn't there? What if she forgot? What if she never wanted to be his friend in the first place? Thoughts akin to these ran around in Juniors head before he remembered what his dad told him when he was nervous about facing Mario for the first time, "You'll never get anywhere with 'what if' if you don't take any chances you won't have one when you need it."

Junior told the 'what if's in his head to shut up and jumped through the psychedelic portal. Junior liked candy as much as the next kid, but the assault on his senses from the new surroundings was like a slap to the face from King Calamari himself. The first shock to his system was the bright neon and pastel landscape, the bright sunlight wasn't helping either. Being a koopa he had a sensitive nose and with the wind blowing in his direction it was like he had snorted 50 different flavors of fun dip.

He shut his eyes tightly before slowly opening them again to get used to the harsh colors. He would get over the smells with time. Junior surveyed the sugar frosted landscape looking for any sign of Vanellope, heading in the direction of a large crash was probably his best bet. Junior stomped his way through a candy cane forest that smelled like sugar and mint toothpaste had a pungent child.

Another crash came and Jr could hear Vanellope's voice, "It's still too weak, that one barely even made it to the top!" Jr stumbled into a field of green apple grass where Vanellope was trying to make adjustments to a candy catapult, further away a big guy in overalls was punching a wall of rock candy to get a chunk the size of Vanellope. The wall gave a bit repeating the crashing noise Jr had been hearing. Jr walked over to the medieval military weapon and saw the problem immediately.

"There's too much friction on the ropes for it to go fast enough syrup for brains." Vanellope looked up from her machine with a confused expression.

"What do you mean friction? And when did you get here cookie-dough face?" Jr had to hold himself back from touching his face self consciously.

"I mean they're held in place by wood, well peanut brittle, which makes the ropes catch and slow down. And I just got here, you probably didn't notice because I'm practically a ninja." Jr tried to get into a pose that made him look sneaky but just ended up looking off balance.

Vanellope laughed, "Nice pose Ermac, but do you know how to actually fix my catapult?" Jr puffed up with pride,

"Of course! You just have to replace the holders with something smooth that won't stick." Vanellope smirked,

"That's easy!" She turned to look at Ralph who had just finished collecting projectiles. "Hey Ralph! We're going to need jawbreakers too!" The large man dropped the rock candy,

"You've got to be kidding me! I just broke through a wall of rock ten inches thick! Why would you need jawbreakers?" Vanellope put her hands to the sides of her mouth,

"For parts dirt magnet!" Ralph trudged toward Vanellope looking annoyed before noticing Jr.

"Oh, that's what Vanellope meant by porcupine turtle."

Jr pouted and glared at Ralph, "I'm a koopa meathead!"

Ralph rolled his eyes, "I know, I just didn't realize that Vanellope was describing you, she wasn't exactly detailed." Ralph gave Vanellope an annoyed look toward the end of the sentence.

"Hey! I'm not vague, you're just too stupid to form mental images!" Vanellope quipped, Ralph started to form a retort when Jr decided to add his own snarky comment,

"With his intelligence we should be impressed he can form words."

Ralph threw up his arms, exasperated. "Gah! You two are like gremlins that only turned horrible on the inside!"

Jr stopped snickering and became confused, "What's a gremlin?" Vanellope glitched to his side,

"These weird little monster things we saw in a movie we got from WiFi, they started out really cute but became goblins that pranked a bunch of people and caused havoc in general."

Jr's expression changed from confused, to pleased, then irritated. "I'm not cute! I'm a fire breathing beast!" To prove his point Jr breathed out a small fireball that ended up burning half of a marshmallow bush.

Vanellope glitched over to the bush and started giggling, "You only burned half, I guess you'll have to practice s'more!" Jr blew a large razzberry at her, sending out sparks.

"That is enough!" Ralph used his thumb and index finger to hold Jr's mouth closed while he stamped out a few surviving sparks, "Breaking a building or two is fine but I draw the line at setting a kingdom on fire!"

Ralph dropped Jr down in front of him and Vanellope glitched to her new friend's side, "It's a democratic society stink brain uh doi!"

"That's not the point," Ralph started again exasperated, "The point is that if BJ here hits something he's not supposed to, Sugar Rush or at least a chunk of it will be flambeed into nonexistence. And if it's not fixed in time the players will notice." Jr stopped rubbing his snout angrily now feeling like an idiot. If a chunk of the game was damaged or missing it could interfere with the races and maybe even make winning impossible for players. And if that happens Litwick would think it was broken and unplug it! Then Vanellope would disappear or worse, hate him.

"Alright, alright, we get it no more fireballs. Can we please get back to the catapult now?" Vanellope said impatiently, Ralph sighed and grumbled something that sounded like 'Fine'.

Jr followed them back to the siege weapon before it hit him, "Why do you even need a catapult? I didn't think you had enemies."

Vanellope's expression turned somber, "Sugar rush has only one enemy, the Bitterunners." She whispered the last part before taking on a more dramatic tone of voice, "They're big grey vultures that eat the non candy inhabitants of Sugar Rush. They hunt by hiding in clouds until they spot their prey, then they swoop down and grab you so quickly you don't even have time to scream before they devour you whole! Once swallowed you're trapped in their impenetrable stomach, while it's boiling stomach acids slowly and painfully melt you into juice!" Jr had met a lot of monsters but this one sounded like it came out a nightmare, getting eaten sounded horrible before but the new description of what happened after made it a lot worse.

Jr was about to ask how to kill them when Ralph piped up, "Quit scaring the poor kid and tell him what we're actually using it for."

Vanellope rolled her eyes and groaned, "But that's way more interesting than what we're actually doing."

Jr caught on and internally kicked himself, of course it was just a story. His siblings used to tell him a lot of scary stories like that until he wised up, he really should have seen this coming with Vanellope. Ralph looked down to make eye contact with Jr, "We're trying to hit those big swirly lollipops on that hill, we would take turns and whoever hits the most with the fewest tries wins." Jr was listening, he was just scheming at the same time and might have missed a word or two.

"But if it's for lollipops then how are you gonna game over that thing?" Jr pointed to the empty sky causing both Ralph and Vanellope to turn and look. Jr quickly scooped up some chocolate mud and hurled it at Vanellope, making her stagger a bit. "Fooled ya!"

A half second into Jr's maniacal cackling he found his open mouth filled with mud courtesy of a miss Von Shweets. The following mud fight ended about thirty minutes later with all three covered in mud, especially Ralph who after being ganged up on half way through for trying to use the catapult was buried up to his shoulders in fudge. The battle ended because the opponents could no longer tell their adversaries from their weapons.

"Can I be dug up now? I think there are gummy worms in my overalls." Ralph seemed, at most, annoyed by the insects where as any normal person would be having a panic attack. But Ralph had lived in a dump, so something like this had probably happened before.

"Whatever you say Captain butt belch!" Vanellope mocked saluted and picked up a candy cane branch to use as a shovel.

"That's a new one madam gerbil face." Ralph had been saving that one.

"B.J. said it yesterday and I've been wanting to use it." Vanellope stuck the branch into the ground near Ralph and started to dig.

Meanwhile Jr felt a sense of pride bubble up inside him, Vanellope had used his phrase and even credited him! "Come on lazy McLoser pants I can't dig Mr. Fat Folds out on my own!" Vanellope teased playfully,

"I can see that noodle arms!" Jr jabbed before starting to dig with his claws. When Ralph got his arms out he was able to pull himself out the rest of the way, and once they had their demolition expert back Vanellope and Jr were ready to fix the catapult. It wasn't hard once they actually started focusing, and it only took a few minutes to complete.

Jr walked home still covered in chocolate, he had a big smile on his face that only changed shape when he yawned. He had spent all afternoon having mud fights, joking, playing tag and shooting a catapult. So it was no surprise how tired he was, but he didn't care how tired, dirty and admittedly sore he was, he had had more fun in one afternoon than he had all year. He was happier than he could remember being and he was three-quarters of the way home before he figured out why. He wasn't lonely anymore.

Authors note:

Yay Jr is happy! He has a real friend for the first time! you probably have a few questions again so here are some answers:

NO Bitterunners do not exist, Vanellope was just trying to scare him.

Ermac is a green ninja guy from some fighting game I forgot the name of.

King calamari is an octopus like boss from mario.

Despite Bowser's hard headedness he can still give good advice, it's a parent thing.

yes Jr and Vanellope get together but that is many chapters away and they will not be lovey dovey because that would contradict their personalities and I'm bad at romantic stuff.


	3. Chapter 3

Vanilla Turtles

chapter 3

Chaos has no one true form, because it has eight. The Koopa children. "Roy give me my train back! Dad gave it to me so it's mine and not yours! You're too stupid to operate it anyways! You can't even work the microwave right!" Morton made another grab for his toy only to get sucker punched by his older brother,

"I'm not stupid snotface, I'm just keeping it so you can't have it moron!" Roy was the second oldest koopaling and definitely the meanest while Morton was a middle child and never seemed to stop talking. Jr managed to sneak past these two knowing nobody but dad could make them stop fighting.

Jr ran down the hall just wanting to get to Sugar Rush in one piece, but apparently the universe thought it would be funnier to make him bump into Iggy. Jr had to look up to meet his brother's eyes, well his goggles anyways. "Hello Jr, I'm fine, no I won't play with you, because I'm busy, no I won't play with you later, because I don't want to." Iggy answered the unasked questions as he did every time he ran into Jr then walked past him not waiting for a response.

Jr just ignored him and went back to sprinting down the hallways. The first time Iggy had done that Jr had actually asked questions. Then every time they ran into each other afterward Iggy would repeat his answers and walk away no matter what Jr actually wanted. It had made him cry the first time, but after so long he had become almost numb to it. Now it was just a brief sting in his chest.

When Jr reached the main hall his arm was grabbed by his eldest brother, Ludwig. "Jr, I have told you not to run around inside! You will break something and since I am in charge while father is working it will be on my head!" Jr collected drool in his mouth before licking his brother's arm, making him let go, "Ewww! Jr that's disgusting!" Ludwig screeched in revulsion, but Jr was already out the door of the castle.

In the front yard Larry and Lemmy were playing one on one soccer. Wendy, Jr's only sister, was filing her nails while half heartedly refereeing. None of them noticed him leaving, not that they noticed him normally. Larry and Lemmy sometimes let him play with them but they prefered just playing with each other, and Wendy treated him like he was two years old.

But that was Jr's family; An uptight eldest brother, an angry wad of muscle, a broken record on legs, a mildly demented scientist, a stuck up sister, two pranksters, and a busy single dad. Jr could understand why though. Ludwig had a lot of pressure on him to be a good leader to them but none of them made it easy, Roy didn't know any other way to communicate since he spent his early childhood getting tossed around before Bowser adopted him, Morton was attention starved, Iggy had never elaborated on his life before adoption and nobody who knew anything said anything, Wendy was as lonely as Jr was, Larry and Lemmy had only ever been friends with each other, and Bowser had to run a kingdom while taking care of eight hyperactive balls of destruction.

How did he know all this? He was psychic! No I'm kidding, he's just really good at eavesdropping. He sprinted through game central station causing minor havoc. Jr had acquired a new favorite target during his runs in between his game and Vanellope's. He was some sort of clown guy with a super annoying laugh, bad attitude, and psychotic tendencies. Jr had so far set the guy's pants on fire, placed several embarrassing signs on his back, tripped him while he was running from a guy in black, and taped his shoes together (the guy wore loafers). And Jr had never been caught thanks to his small size, fleeing abilities, and tendency to pull these pranks while a crowd was near. Also everyone who saw him commit the deeds gave him a thumbs up or some other sign of approval.

Currently the clown was holding a ridiculously large hat out of a shorter man's reach and taunting him. Jr couldn't do anything when Roy did things like that, but this guy was nowhere near family. There weren't enough people to hide him and all his plans didn't guarantee getting the hat back, he couldn't get it fast enough… Oh well duh! He skipped past the clown bumping him slightly, "Watch where you're going brat!" The clown kicked him harshly in the side, but his shell protected him so he didn't feel much.

Jr sped toward the big map of the station where he saw Sonic leaning against it looking bored, perfect. Jr made his breathing irregular and forced tears from his eyes before going up to the hedgehog sniffling rather convincingly. "T-the mean c-clown man kicked me!" Come on Jr, big fat tears and big puppy eyes.

"What!? That's it! I'm sick of Joker! I don't care what bat-brain says he's going down!" The clown guy was annoying but he could be hilarious, if he was the one being teased. Jr made himself scarce to avoid suspicion and ran, giggling maniacally, toward S.R. knowing that justice would be served.

"And so Larry put it in the microwave, Ludwig was so angry he couldn't form words!" Vanellope laughed at Jr's story, they were finishing up their icecream monster by adding solid green peppermints for teeth.

"So did it explode?" She asked excitedly,

"Nah, violins don't explode very well, but it did burst into flames! The microwave exploded right after." Jr stepped back to admire the horrifying dairy treat, it was an octopus with two mouths and had a lot of eyes made out of red gumdrops.

"Then what did he do?" Vanellope glitched next Jr waiting for the ending.

"They started fighting and made so much noise dad heard and came down. He was pretty mad, not as mad as when Roy put itching powder in Wendy's makeup, but mad. For punishment he made Larry take violin lessons." Jr snickered remembering the mortified look on his brother's face,

"Didn't Ludwig get in trouble for destroying his ball?" Vanellope asked, confused.

"Of course, he had to teach Larry how to play." They broke out laughing.

"So what do you guys do for fun when you're not pranking each other?" Vanellope questioned while rolling up icecream balls for their next activity.

"We do our own thing I guess. The only time we really get together is for attacking the Mario brothers." Jr tried to make it sound like it didn't bother him, by now he had joined Vanellope in ice cream ball making.

"But you guys are family, don't you want to spend time together?" Vanellope looked concerned and confused,

"Of course, they're my family! It's just complicated. Like, Ludwig is so focused on being the responsible one he never lets himself have fun." Jr sounded almost bitter, but mostly just sad.

"Well maybe he just needs to be told he's doing a good job. It sounds like you guys don't appreciate him much." Vanellope reasons,

"Maybe, but what about Roy? He only knows how to push people around." Jr mumbles,

"He's trying to be tough, it's a guy thing. Just point out how your dad's tough but he shows he loves you without punching you in the face." Vanellope pointed it out like it was obvious, seriously how did she get this smart?

"Ok, how about Iggy? He won't even give me a chance." Jr willed himself not to get teary eyed,

"He thinks he's alone, you just need to remind him he's not. He's that "Nobody can understand me! Nobody cares about me!" kid, he needs someone to smack some sense into him." She mimed smacking someone upside the head,

"And Morton?" Jr asked not expecting an answer,

"Ask him a question and listen for a while, he's attention starved uh doi." She she added a ball to the growing pile.

"And Wendy just needs someone to play her dumb games with her?" Jr asked sarcastically,

"Pretty much, or you could play to the whole little brother thing and have her read you stories or bake cupcakes with her. I think that's what you do with a big sister." Vanellope shrugged optimistically,

"What about Larry and Lemmy? They'll only play with each other!" Jr was starting to get sick of this conversation,

"How should I know? I specialize in individual lonely weirdos." She tried to sound like a professor even sticking up her nose and talking in a british accent.

"Wow, thank you Dr. Phil, you've really opened my eyes. I don't think embarrassing myself will bring my family together though." Jr quipped,

"If you don't race, you can't win." Vanellope stood up and noticed how conflicted and upset Jr looked, she looked at the huge pile of ice cream balls then back to her friend.

"But enough of this sappy junk, you wanna go pelt Taffyta with ice cream?" Despite everything that had happened Vanellope and Taffyta still despised each other, and they were still kids. It wasn't that they didn't try to be friends, it was just hard to forget the past. Plus their personalities clashed in every possible way.

Jr managed a smirk, "Can I melt some so they get stuck in her hair?"

Come on you big chicken, say something! Jr internally berated himself as he stood in the doorway of Ludwig's music room, the older koopa was so focused on the unfinished composition in his hand that he hadn't noticed his little brother. Ludwig loved music, it was his escape, his only way to relax and forget his responsibilities. He hummed as he wrote another line of notes, satisfied with his work so far, he placed the music sheet on his grand piano's stand.

"Hey Ludwig?" Jr finally called, "Can I talk to you?" Jr tried not to sound nervous.

"You are talking to me." Ludwig turned and gave his sibling a withering look.

"I'm sorry I licked you, it was pretty jellynile." Jr projected honesty wanting his brother to believe him.

It didn't seem like it with Ludwig's face contorted in shock, but he recovered quickly, "I believe you meant 'juvenile' and I am hesitant to forgive you." Suspicion replaced the shock and Ludwig sat up straighter subconsciously attempting to be intimidating.

"If you weren't I'd ask if you had a fever, I've done some pretty rotten stuff." Jr approached his increasingly confused brother.

"This is a trap right? You have a stink bomb behind your back don't you? Why else would you be nice to me?! I'm not stupid Jr, I know you're up to something!" Ludwig loomed over Jr, trying to stare him down. Maybe it was because he was trying to project honesty, maybe it was because of something Vanellope had said, but Jr was pretty sure it was the built up frustration of being alone when he didn't have to be. But whatever it was, it made Jr snap.

"You have got to be kidding me! Only Lemmy uses bombs! And the only thing that stinks around here is your attitude!" If anything Jr had definitely inherited his father's innate ability to bellow, Ludwig was momentarily stunned by the outburst but rallied and attempted a comeback only to be aggressively interrupted. "Shut up and listen to someone else for once! I was being nice to you because nobody else seems to get that the only reason you're so uptight is because nobody listens to you! And now, the one time I really try to be a good brother, all you do is correct and yell at me! You're not the only one who's lonely you know! So quit locking yourself in your room and acting like you're the only one with feelings! I get sad when you ignore me or get hurt! I get angry when you yell or try to control everyone! And I get ridiculously happy when you actually talk to me! Because you're my brother, and despite everything you put me through I still care about you and I try to show it! I don't know why since all you ever do is show you hate me! Well I'm sick of it! lock yourself up forever and see if I care!"

Don't you dare cry Jr, don't- too late. Jr tried to leave but his shell was grabbed and held tightly by Ludwig. "I don't hate you." He said it quietly, but that didn't mean the guilt was any less prominent, "I could never hate you Jr, it's just hard to keep everything together when nobody will listen to me, I'm supposed to be the leader and I can't even get Lemmy to follow a single order. And I take it out on you because nobody else would talk to me. I'm sorry Jr, I-I didn't realize how much it hurt, I didn't try to-" Hugs were rare in the Koopa castle, showing affection was traditionally seen as a sign of weakness in koopa culture. But Jr gave one to Ludwig anyways, because it felt right.

"I forgive you."

Author's Note:

I think I got cavities from writing that last scene, they are just too sweet when they get along! :D So to answer some questions, take a peek below!

All the Koopa kids had a life before Bowser adopted them, none were happy. I will probably elaborate on that at some point in the future.

The Joker is back! And yes that was Jervis Tetch aka the Mad Hatter that Joker was teasing. In my mind the Joker is constantly annoying others and even putting people in danger for his amusement. Batman is supposed to handle all Joker related situations, but as you saw Sonic got pissed. Sonic is fine but after his fight with Joker he is a bit shaken up.

Vanellope knows what it's like to be lonely, bullied, betrayed, targeted, and restrained. Hence her wisdom.

Admit it, you hated Taffyta and didn't believe for a second she was truly sorry for her actions. I know I didn't. In Vanellope's and Jr's minds, Taffyta is a bully with no redeeming qualities. At least Roy doesn't destroy things that really matter to his siblings.

Ludwig was a bit OOC in this chapter but I wanted to show that he truly loves his brother and has reasons for his behavior.


	4. Chapter 4

Kahan 6

Vanilla Turtles

Chapter 4

"Daaaaaaad, you're going too sloooooooow," Jr whined, pulling on his dad in the direction of Sugar Rush.

"Kid, it's eight in the morning on a Sunday. Your buddy probably isn't even up yet, I'm not all the way up yet!" Bowser growled in annoyance, but he retained a slight smile from seeing his son so excited. Jr and Vanellope had been friends for a month now and Bowser had demanded to meet her as soon as Jr mentioned her. The arcade closed on Sundays so Bowser spent the entire day with one of his kids, and they took turns of course and today was Jr's.

Bowser fought the urge to yawn as his youngest son practically dragged him through the station. He was curious to meet the person who made Jr so excited. Bowser tried to spend as much time with his kids as possible, but being a king was a full-time job, so knowing Jr had someone his age to play with took some of the guilt away. Bowser was so groggy and deep in thought that he almost didn't notice Jr had stopped. They had reached Sugar Rush.

"What the hammer kid!? Why didn't you fireballin' warn me!?" Bowser complained as he lay flat on the ground with his hands clamped over his nostrils and his eyes shut. Sugar Rush's smell had been a shock to Jr, but Bowser's adult nose was even more perceptive, making the candy kingdom's scents hit him harder than a raging chain chomp.

"I thought you would figure it out. You knew it was made of candy," Jr said rather guiltily and looked at the ground.

"Jr, you've lived with me long enough to know I'm terrible at thinking ahead." Bowser was starting to crack his eyes open and relax his hands.

"Sorry pops," Jr shrugged.

As soon as Bowser got over the new stimuli his son was once again dragging him forward. After passing through the candy cane forest Bowser got an eyeful of the candy castle. It wasn't as cool as his castle but still pretty impressive. Jr stopped next to a very… unique race kart and looked around, confused. "She said she'd be right here." Jr twitched a bit and took one more look around, "I'll go find her, she's probably just in a different part of the yard." He was sprinting through an army of peanut buttercups before Bowser could respond.

A second or three later Vanellope walked onto the large patch of grass coming from the opposite direction, and she was carrying what looked like a spare tire for the kart. When she saw Bowser she dropped it and just stood there, staring at him. Fantastic, now Jr's new friend will be scared off and it'll be all my fault, Bowser thought bitterly. But instead of running away screaming she ran toward him, "You're Jr's dad, right?" She stopped in front of him and stared up at him almost in awe.

Bowser smiled proudly and stood up straight, "Yup, that's my boy."

Vanellope was a bit shocked seeing the already large creature seem to appear bigger, "Holy mother of monkey milk, you're ginormous!" Bowser held his head higher and even puffed up a bit in pride,

"Of course I am. You have to be to intimidate enemies and lazy minions." Vanellope gagged dramatically when Bowser's breath hit her.

"I think your breath is scary enough. I can't feel my sinuses." Bowser grinned, displaying his fangs,

"Yup! It really distracts Mario sometimes, he even turned a bit green once! The secret is in my brimstone and pirahna plant oil toothpaste." You could say what you wanted about Bowser, but it wouldn't be able to damage his impenetrable ego.

Vanellope stared at the Koopa for a brief second before asking, "Are you as strong as Ralf? You look really strong but I've never met anybody tougher than Ralph." The ego has been challenged, on purpose just so you're aware.

Bowser frowned and stood up as straight as he could, "Ain't nobody tougher than me! Ralph's a bruiser but I'm the king here!" Now it was Vanellope's turn to frown,

"No you're not, Sugar Rush is a democracy. There is no king! The last time we had a king this whole place became a candy coated heart of darkness! And not the good kind with awesome explosions and cursed swords, but the kind where everyone is secretly brainwashed and it's super boring!" Kings were a touchy subject for Vanellope, and yet she was starting to like Bowser since he was pretty much the opposite of King Candy.

"Yeah, I heard about that. But I wasn't really surprised. Turbo was always a rotten little stinker. It's like he had the 'Soul Edge' but without the power and style. Just the annoying personality." Bowser growled a bit, remembering when he had first met the little psycho, "He never shut up about himself it was like talking to broken record stuck on 'That nails on chalkboard sound'. Loser still owes me a hotdog too." Some smoke and sparks floated out of his nose in annoyance.

"But if he's dead wouldn't it be a zombie hotdog? That doesn't sound like it would taste good." Vanellope's nose wrinkled in disgust at the thought of the living piece of mold and meat.

"That sounds a bit too disgusting for me. But if it's alive, or at least undead, I could put it in a terrarium and give it to one of the kids! They love dangerous pets. Well, dangerous to everyone but them anyways." Bowser was grinning again, Vanellope had to give the guy credit. Even Ralph couldn't follow a conversation this random.

"But what if it grew too big for its cage and started trying to eat everyone? I bet it would become a giant undead worm thing and eat entire kingdoms without becoming satisfied!" Vanellope's voice deepened and became more dramatic as she mimed being a zombie monster.

Bowser took a pen and notebook out from his shell, it said 'Evil Ideas', and scribbled something down muttering, "Zombie… Hotdogs..." the pen and notes were put back just as Jr trotted back into the clearing and did a double take when he saw his father and Vanellope smiling jovially at each other.

Bowser didn't often take a shine to anyone, much less smile at them. "Vanellope, where were you? I looked all over the garden!" Jr whined.

"I was just getting a wheel for the cart ya big baby," Vanellope playfully jabbed.

"I know you are but what am I?" Juvenile, but affective.

"Ok, that's enough you two! I didn't come here to watch a couple of kids poke fun at each other. I could have done that at home." Bowser intervened, "Now what were you kids planning on doing?"

Vanellope pounced on the question, "We were gonna ride the Mountain Dewm rapids! But I don't think you would fit in the boat." She went from hyper to deflated in two sentences.

"Don't worry about it, I can get my own boat no problem." The ego rears its head as Bowser puffs himself up once more.

"The rapids are super fast too. What if you bump into something?" Vanellope asked, concerned.

Jr held back a sigh knowing no amount of danger would prevent his dad from doing something once he set his mind to it. "Quit your worrying already sweety, this is me we're talking about. I can take anything!"

The Mountain Dewm rapids are one of the top five most dangerous places in Sugar Rush, there are multiple drops and obstacle peppering the course, and the water flows at sixty-three miles an hour on average. Vanellope and Jr are riding in a partially hollowed out half of a jawbreaker, while Bowser is using a much bigger version. It's not difficult for small vessels to dodge the cliche tall pointy rocks, but large ones on the other hand…

"AAARRRGGGHHH!" That was the closest Bowser's vocal chords could get to 'EEEEEEEK.' Considering the speed of the water and amount of obstacles, Bowser was doing very well in controlling his vessel. But that doesn't mean he didn't crash into things. At this very moment he's about to hit a large fallen-"SHELL THAT HURT!"-tree. Though most of his mind was focused on not getting a game over, a smaller yet still substantial part was listening for any noises his son or Vanellope made. Bowser heard a lot of laughter and joyful exclamations but occasionally there was a surprised yell that made his heart drop into his stomach in worry.

Meanwhile, Jr and Vanellope were speeding down the river having the time of their lives. "Hey Jr, check this out!" Vanellope leaned right and sent them flying off a ledge, and they were airborne for several seconds before landing back in the soda rapids.

"That was awesome! We were, like, twenty feet in the air!" They both laughed excitedly, then they floated swiftly into a calm patch of the river. The friends were back to back, with a marshmallow between them so Jr's spikes wouldn't hurt Vanellope, and this position allowed them to take turns steering. When the boat twirled in the current whoever was closest to the front would steer.

Jr was currently in front since Vanellope's stunt had caused them to spin quite a bit. The current pulled them swiftly but smoothly for about a minute before Jr heard a rumbling and saw what looked like steam in the distance. "Uh oh."

Vanellope heard him and responded monotonously, "Let me guess, we're about to go over a huge waterfall?"

Jr gulped, "Yup."

Vanellope's tone remained unchanged, "Sharp rocks at the bottom?"

Jr gulped again, the rumbling was much louder now. "Most likely," he squeaked. The boat was forced to do a one-eighty by Vanellope who gripped the rim tightly and ducked down in a pose similar to the one she had while racing.

"Bring it on!" Vanellope sounded a bit too happy for someone who was about to go over a waterfall. Jr just gripped the boat and silently prayed to Shigeru Miyamoto that he would survive this.

Bowser sighed in relief and when he reached the calm patch he stared ahead looking for the daring duo. He spotted them and smiled before he sensed a rumbling and saw steam. He immediately started clawing at the water, desperately trying to reach his kid. This did almost nothing to speed him up and he was starting to panic when he remembered something rather important. "Hey wait, I can swim." Bowser leaped out of the boat and shot toward the kids. He noticed Vanellope force the boat around so she could steer and thought. Kid, if you mess this up and my son gets hurt you are in for a world of misery!

He was ten feet away and Jr was looking at him with hope filled eyes when Vanellope yelled "BONSAI!" and they fell off the edge.

In retrospect, Jr really should have seen this coming, for it wasn't a sheer drop but extremely steep. Vanellope was laughing like a maniac as she dodged cliffs and spun into currents, and Jr was screaming his lungs out in alternating terror and excitement. Vanellope was in a kind of personal heaven with the roar of the soda in her ears, spray in her face, and a speed that would make Sonic whistle in appreciation. Adrenaline ran through her system and as they approached the end of the falls, a crescent shaped cliff, it spiked and made her glitch noticeably.

Vanellope managed to scream louder than Jr as they rocketed off the cliff and sailed through the air before they started descend rapidly. "Weeeeeeeeeeeee!" "Eeeeeeeeeeeeek!" Vanellope and Jr exclaimed respectively. Jr had plummeted toward the ground before but that had been in his game where he couldn't die. He closed his eyes and was struck by the question of why everyone he cared about had to be nuttier than a sack of trail mix.

Sploosh! Vanellope and Jr landed in the middle of a strawberry milkshake lake, completely unharmed of course. Jr swam to shore where Vanellope was already wringing melted icecream out of her hair, a pointless effort since the splash Bowser made when he landed soaked them both once again. Maybe it was the near death experience, maybe it was seeing his dad coated in pink, or maybe it was just Vanellope's "We should totally do that again!" but whatever it was, it made Jr laugh harder than he had in what felt like forever.

Author notes:

Another chapter! Finally! It took so long! Ok on to the notes:

I don't know why the arcade is closed on Sundays, probably the same reason most things close on Sundays.

Bowser has eight hyper and creative children, it stands to reason he could follow a crazy conversation.

Yes Bowser knew Turbo, Mario is a very old game so it was probably there to witness Turbo's meltdown.

Beneath his tough act Bowser is truly worried for his son and feels a large amount of guilt over the lack of interaction he has with him. So of course he's overjoyed Jr has a friend, especially one as cool as Vanellope.

The soul edge is a cursed sword that turns its bearer evil.

Hammer, fireballin, and shell are all swear words in Marioland but since the M rated games got plugged in they are seen as equal to darn or dang.

Message me if you got the _**Emperor**_ _ **'**_ _ **s New Groove**_ reference!


	5. Chapter 5

Vanilla Turtles

Chapter 5

Crash and Burn

Jr ran awkwardly down the hall. He held what looked like a large bottle in his claws. He stopped next to a blue vase and scanned the area for guards or his siblings. When he saw none were present in the gloomy corridor he pushed a hidden button behind the vase. A small secret passageway opened and he ran through before the entrance could close on him. Even though the passageway was dark Jr could see well enough to navigate through all the twists and turns. He eventually came to a purple brick wall; he blew a small fireball at it and it opened.

Ludwig was sitting on a suitcase outside the castle gardens when Jr came through the secret passageway. Wendy was leaning against a tree with a picnic basket in claw. Recently, Jr had started inviting Ludwig on his pranking adventures. Jr thought this was great but he felt like he shouldn't be patching things up with only one of his siblings, so he had invited Wendy. She seemed interested in the idea and was happy to join once she learned that that day's target was Mario.

"Why did you take a secret passage? Are you grounded?" Ludwig questioned his younger brother with a raised eyebrow.

"No, it's just fun!" Jr smiled widely. He always felt like a secret agent or a great explorer when he went through the secret tunnels in his home.

"Did you find anything? People hide weird stuff in there all the time." Wendy asked, being her usual nosy self. She had a bad habit of making everyone else's business her business.

"Not unless some guy has been hiding a dust collection in there," Jr sassed, but it was true; he was going to need a bath later.

At that point Ludwig had grown tired of his siblings' chatter. "If we want to be back home by dinner we need to leave now! We're already ten minutes behind schedule!" Jr and Wendy sighed in minor annoyance but nodded. There was only so much time in the day. The koopalings shot off toward the Mushroom Kingdom with devilish ideas dancing in their heads. Mario's house wasn't too far away, but it was a pain getting there without being spotted. Stupid tattling toads!

At some point they came to a dirt road lined with bushes. They heard a commotion and Ludwig signaled for them to hide in the bushes. Looking past the leaves they saw the Mario brothers in an argument with Wario and Waluigi.

"Will you just drop it! I beat you fair and square!" An exasperated Luigi was waving a tennis racket erratically. Obviously they had played against each other and Waluigi was being a sore loser.

"Yeah? Well I kissed your girlfriend!" Obvious bluff on Waluigi's part but Luigi was still stunned and mildly mortified.

Mario chose that time to enter the argument. "Yeah, you kissed her fist when she punched you out you stupid creep!"

Then Wario jumped into the verbal fray. "You're calling my friend stupid?! You can't even figure out how to get rid of a washed up tortoise!" The target for the day's pranking was instantly changed. Meanwhile, Luigi was holding an infuriated Mario back from starting an all out brawl.

"Mario they're not worth it, let's just leave," Luigi implored, tugging gently but insistently on his brother's arm.

"Fine," Mario huffed, and followed Luigi down the western road.

"That's right! Walk away cowards!" Wario jeered. "Go home crying to your mother!"

"Hey! Luigi?" Waluigi called, sounding concerned. Luigi turned to look at him,

"What?" Waluigi smirked.

"You suck!" the W bros laughed and pointed, overly proud of their immature trick. Luigi just turned away from them and sighed.

"Be the bigger person Luigi, be the bigger person." He chanted to himself. Mario gave the two idiots a death glare before stalking after his brother. After Wario and Waluigi had gone off gallivanting to the east, the koopalings came out of hiding to discuss their next move.

"Washed up?! They've got some nerve saying that about king dad!" Jr raged. Speaking ill of anyone of the royal koopas was dangerous, but talking trash about Bowser right in front of one or more of his kids was downright suicidal.

"Forget the Mario brothers, we kick them around every game day! I say we ought to teach those two Wario suckers a lesson." Wendy exclaimed, her inner daddy's girl was rearing its spoiled head.

"It would certainly be interesting to watch those buffoons be humiliated by our own hands." Ludwig grinned evilly, his mind already filled with new plans to torture the annoying twosome.

"So what are we waiting for? A fireballin invitation? Let's get going already!" Jr was already scampering east toward Wario's house. His siblings followed, cackling all the way.

Wario's house was more of a big, roughed up shack than a house. It had mismatched roof tiles, junk in the front yard, and dead grass all around it. The koopalings hid behind a large trashcan and waited until the W suckers sauntered out of the shack and toward Toad Town. They must have felt pretty confident to bother the Mario brothers twice in one day. Scuttling out from their hiding place and up to the front door, the koopalings snickered at the lack of security-the door wasn't even locked! Upon entering the hovel the koopalings split up in search of their targeted rooms.

(WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT ANY OF WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ AT HOME! OR ANYWHERE ELSE!)

Ludwig found the kitchen easily since it was right next to living room. He sorted through the cupboards until he found the tomato sauce, a wide toothy smirk appearing on his face. He poked a small hole in the metal lid and set it down carefully on the stained tile floor. Ludwig opened his suitcase and selected a syringe filled with hot sauce that could probably glow slightly in a dark room, a pill made out of baking soda, and a small welding torch. Then he injected the hot sauce into the jar through the small hole. Afterward he quickly shoved the baking soda pill through the hole before hastily welding the lid back into its original form. Finishing just before the baking soda started to take effect, Ludwig sighed in relief and started on blocking the pipes under the sink.

Meanwhile in the bathroom, Wendy was examining the showerhead. She delicately twisted the head open and shoved a tiny pink cube inside before gracefully replacing the cap. She stepped out of the shower and repressed a shriek when she saw a cockroach scuttle across the floor. Shuddering slightly, Wendy approached the sink. She took the small soap pump off the counter and emptied it into the sink before rifling through her basket and pulling out a bottle of purple jelly. She refilled the soap dispenser with the jelly and put it back neatly. She tittered mischievously as she fled the grimy bathroom… I am running out of synonyms for giggled. *Sigh*

You probably want to know what Jr is doing. Well, he's in the garage messing with the one nice thing in the place. Though I suppose this depends on your definition of nice. Wario's car was parked right in the middle of the room. The car was shiny, clean, and well maintained. But obviously that would change in the not too distant future. Jr hopped into the driver's seat and leaned over to inspect the brakes. He squeezed sticky white glue under and on top of the acceleration pedal with his bottle. He stepped in between the two front seats and squirted glue on them too. Now this wasn't normal glue, this was Super Koopa glue. It turned clear on leaving its container and when it stuck to something it didn't let go. Jr sniggered maniacally; this was going to be comedy gold!

"I'm hungry," Wario grumbled. The W suckers were walking through the front door after verbally terrorizing some toads. They had had cake thrown at them but it was carrot cake, which most people don't have an appreciation for. This included Wario and Waluigi.

"Well what do you expect me to do? If you're hungry get a snack yourself! I need to get this sugary gunk off me." Waluigi snapped at his friend, meanwhile the koopalings spied on them from behind the large trash can and practically gawked at how the suckers were heading straight for the traps.

"In that case I'm not sharing my pizza with you!" Wario stomped over to the kitchen grumbling and mumbling to himself. Waluigi made a beeline for the bathroom sighing dramatically.

Wario opened the fridge and rifled through the expired gunk until he found a frozen pizza crust and tossed it unceremoniously onto the counter along with cheese and pepperoni. He went to the cupboard and took out the tomato sauce. He was about to open it when he realized something very, very important. "Shrooms! I forgot to preheat the stupid oven." A few turns of a knob later Wario was twisting open the lid of the sauce. A few turns of a lid later there was red slop on the ceiling and Wario's eyes were on FIRE.

"Seventy siiiiiix trombones led the big paraaaaade!" You are very lucky you're just reading this because Waluigi's shower singing is terrible. Suddenly there was a shutter rattling scream from the kitchen, Waluigi immediately turned off the water and struggled into his underpants. He was about to run to his brother's aid but the sight he saw in the mirror made him instantly forget the yell. He was completely pink! From his hair to his toes he was colored a bright pink! "Noooooo! My face!" He wailed as if something aesthetically pleasing had been destroyed. "I have to get it off before Wario sees me! He'll blab to everybody!" Waluigi grabbed the soap and tried to wash off his arms but as soon as the gel came in contact with water, the bathroom overflowed with lilac bubbles. "Aieee!"

"My eyes! Shroom, my eyes!" Wario stumbled blindly toward the sink, his eyes burning from the hot sauce. He grabbed the knob beside the faucet and turned it as fast as he could. When no water came out Wario let out an enraged yell. At about the same time the bathroom door had been forced open by bubbles setting a still bright pink and screeching Waluigi free. The suds flowed through the house, reaching the kitchen in seconds. The koopalings, who were watching through the kitchen window, fell over each other laughing at their victims as they slipped and slid in the soap.

Wario could see a bit better now; the soap had gotten the hot sauce out. The soap burned but it wasn't anywhere near as bad as the hot sauce. He heard the koopalings laughter and jerked his head to look through the window. "You rotten brats! I'll cook you into turtle soup!" You could practically see the steam coming out of Wario's ears.

"You gotta catch us first slow poke!" Jr blew a large raspberry and ran away with his still laughing siblings close behind.

Wario dragged the still stunned Waluigi toward the garage as fast as his stubby legs would allow. "Slow!? They're not gonna be calling me slow when I run em' over!" Waluigi's brain had finally caught up and he was running with his brother toward the car. They jumped in and barely missed hitting their heads on the rising garage door. They soon caught up with the koopalings but instead of screaming in terror, the kids just laughed and double jumped into a tree.

Wario tried to hit the brakes but it wouldn't budge, neither would the fully pressed down acceleration. They were approaching a cliff. "I can't stop the car!" Wario was wriggling his legs in panic.

"Just crash into a tree!" Waluigi was trying desperately to struggle out of his seat.

"But that will wreck the car!" Wario complained.

"Not as much aAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Over the cliff and through an army of tree branches they went.

The car fell apart on the way down taking thick pieces of tree with it, but the front seats stayed intact and hung on a strong limb by the seatbelts. Wario and Waluigi were still stuck to it of course. Wario was covered in tomato sauce, had lost his car, and was still hungry. Waluigi was bright pink, in his underwear, and still had carrot cake in his hair. They both were wet, angry, and humiliated. They hung there seething for a minute before Wario spoke, "Hey Wali?"

"What?" Waluigi replied shortly.

"I think I left the oven on at home." Wario said, sounding concerned.

"... You suck."

Author's Notes:

That was so fun to write! I love pranking the deserving! XD But onto the notes.

The Mario brothers and Wario guys are bitter rivals, I imagine them arguing as a common occurrence.

Waluigi's "You suck!" is a reference to a hilarious fan-comic about Luigi.

Hot sauce contains vinegar, that's why it could explode.

Waluigi was singing "Seventy-six trombones" from _**The Music Man**_.

Sorry that there is no Vanellope in this chapter but I wanted to write about the koopalings a bit.

Were my pranks too mean? Not mean enough? Leave a note in the comments and let me know!


	6. Chapter 6

Vanilla Turtles

Chapter 6

Fruit candy is not a vegetable

Vanellope was impatient, impulsive, and a proud tomboy. Yet somehow she could bake better than anyone in the arcade (eat your heart out Cooking Mama!). She was pretty certain it had something to do with being princess ( aka President) of Sugar Rush, but, oh wait, that is why. Currently she was spreading merengue on a freshly made lemon-lime swirl layer pie-cake. A pie-cake is a creation of Vanellope's that has become a favorite of one Wreck It Ralph. You make a pie-cake by making two short cylindrical gram cracker cakes, two lemon-lime swirl pies of the same shape and size with a graham cracker crust, and stacking them on top of one another and covering it with merengue. Blowtorching merengue is optional, unless you're Vanellope, then it's compulsory. Sour Bill stood close by with a fire extinguisher just in case.

It had been by Sour Bill's insistence that she make it in the first place. According to him it was rude to show up to a dinner party empty handed. Vanellope had tried to convince him it was just dinner at a friends house, not a party. But also according to Sour Bill any meal you are invited to by royalty is automatically a formal event. She had narrowly escaped being forced into a puffy dress. If you haven't guessed Vanellope has been invited over to the Koopa castle for dinner; she expected they had spicy food so she was bringing a large bottle of drinkable yogurt.

Vanellope wrapped her finished masterpiece in a nice white box before it was abruptly snatched by an oreo guard and carried to her kart. Vanellope pouted and yelled after the cookie soldier, "I could have carried it myself y'know!" She hated being treated like a weakling or a damsel in distress. Vanellope started to jog after the oreo with Sour Bill right behind her.

Later, Vanellope was buckling her seatbelt, ready to head off when a monotone voice rolled into her ears. "Are you certain you won't be needing my assistance President Von Schweetz?" Sour Bill droned, he had been pestering Vanellope to take him with her all day. Vanellope knew it was just because he cared about her and was worried, but it was really starting to annoy her.

"I'll be fine you big worriball! It's dinner not a round of Slenderman," Vanellope reassured her caretaker. She started the kart. "Just think of it as a night off." Vanellope stomped on the gas peddle and waved at Sour Bill as she sped off toward Grand Central Station.

Karting through Grand Central Station is either very dangerous or mildly nauseating. Very dangerous when you have to try to avoid hitting dozens of random characters, mildly nauseating when you just floor it so you can drive on the ceiling. Vannellope drives on the ceiling-she may be a troublemaker but she didn't want to give anyone a permanent GAME OVER.

It was a pretty short drive to Mario's game but it was long enough to make Vanellope feel slightly dizzy from being upside down so long. She made a hard left, honking her horn at the pedestrians to warn them of the speeding kart. The few characters that stood between Vanellope and her destination dove out of the way just in time to avoid getting hit, they stood up calmly and casually continued their conversations. Video game characters don't get surprised by much. Behind the portal Vanellope was speeding across the dirt roads of the Mushroom kingdom in the direction of Bowser's castle. At least she assumed the large grey structure with thunderclouds floating exclusively over its crooked towers was the castle. It was also the only fortress near any volcanos.

Meanwhile at said fortress, Bowser was herding his children into the front yard. "No biting, clawing, fire breathing, shell spin attacks, or headbutting! Punching, kicking, tackling, and hair pulling are allowed but if somebody cries there's gonna be trouble." He gave his children a firm look before starting to head back inside, Roy stopped him.

"What about Jr's friend?" His tone was almost accusing, Bowser blinked and quickly came to a decision.

"One-on-one fights only, and no game overs. Seriously, I've heard Mario's victory jingle too often already." Roy blushed indignantly, his siblings giggled at his expense. "And if anyone breaks the rules it's nothing but dangerous delight and water for a week!" All the koopalings paled at the thought of eating that awful shroom dish. "Dinner is in an hour, try not to lose your dessert privileges." Bowser said half jokingly, he stomped back into the castle with the large metal doors creaking loudly as they closed behind him.

Vanellope managed not to throw a fit when the small group of koopa servants that had met her at the gate spirited away her pie-cake to the kitchen without her consent, moved her cart to the castle garage without her permission, and called her miss PENELOPE. At least she got to correct their address of her. The koopas opened the gates for her after apologizing for the name thing, and then ran off to do who knows what. Jr and what Vanellope was pretty sure were his siblings were playing soccer. No, not playing. Playing implies at least one person doesn't care who wins.

"Hey Jr!" Vanellope shouted in greeting, almost immediately the game was abandoned and Vanellope was pelted with questions.

"Are you really Jr's friend?" Larry asked doubtfully.

"What's your name? What's your favorite color? Why is there a bunch of candy stuck to your hair?" Morton shoved Larry out of the way to ask his own questions at a rapid-fire pace.

"What game are you from again?" Wendy questioned.

"How high is your IQ?" Iggy inquired as he stared at Vanellope with unblinking eyes.

"Why are you such a shrimp?" Roy teased.

"What do you do for fun?" Lemmy asked excitedly.

"Are you interested in music?" You were expecting Ludwig to ask something unrelated to music?

Vanellope took a second to think about the questions and took a deep breath, "Yes, I'm Jr's friend, Vanellope Von Schweetz, aqua, because it looks cool, Sugar Rush, high enough to know you've got a screw loose pal, because I eat in normal amounts blubberbutt, I kart race and pull pranks, and only if I can dance to it." She beamed.

Larry looked confused, Morton smiled back, Wendy nodded, Iggy blinked, Roy snarled, Ludwig smirked, and Jr had finally made it through the crowd. "Do you wanna be on my team in soccer?" Jr really wanted to draw Roy and Iggy's attention away from the possibly dangerous conversation.

"Nah-" Vanellope started before cutting off abruptly, glitching onto the field, and kicking the ball toward Roy's goal with a mischievous "Yoink!" the koopalings quickly recovered from the surprise and the game (well, more of a soccer themed war really) restarted in earnest. There was much kicking of both ball and players, trash talking, and victory dancing from all involved, that is until the ball went sailing into a pirahna plant's mouth after a particularly fierce 'my honor is on the line' kick from Roy after Vanellope called him a sissy. Then there was much groaning, complaining, and glares toward Roy and Vanellope from all involved. The two were saved when the man eating plant coughed up a ripped and slime covered soccer ball right back up and belched loudly. There was much cracking up from all involved.

Conveniently it was about two minutes until dinner at that point and after all the kids had gotten over the plant event they made their way to the dining room as a group. A shoving, yelling, arguing group but a group nonetheless. Upon reaching the dining room there was a passionate argument between Ludwig and Larry on whose turn it was to sit on King dad's right. Bowser bellowed from down the hall that it was Larry's turn, much to the dismay of the eldest koopaling.

"Except for the right of King dad's chair you can sit wherever you want," Jr informed Vanellope. She immediately glitched onto the chair left of the hulking throne of red velvet and stone that must have been Bowser's chair. This angered the other children who had been racing for the spot but a second ago. Ludwig was closest and was fuming. Before he could reprimand Vanellope's inconsiderate behavior she started teasing in a playful tone.

"Don't get so worked up, it's just a chair! See?" She glitched into the seat second closest to the throne. "It's not like I'd stay there forever!" She chortled as Ludwig stared at her, mildly dumbfounded. He almost lost the chair due to his hesitation. Wendy had made a leap for it but her plan was foiled at the last second. Jr heaved himself onto the chair next to Vanellope while the other koopalings bickered over their places.

When Bowser came galumphing in the final seating order was decided instantaneously. Bowser sat in his throne with a content smile from seeing his family all in one place and not fighting. Starting from Bowser's right the seating was Larry, Lemmy, Roy, Iggy, Morton, Wendy, Jr, Vanellope, Ludwig. "Alright kiddos, here's the deal. Tonight we're having roast wackabumps-" Bowser's speech was interrupted by a cheer from Lemmy, "You're only allowed two each." Groans from half the koopalings. "And you're not getting anything else until each of you finish your koopa pilaf." This time all koopaling groaned.

"Excuse me, but, I have no idea what either of those things are." Vanellope stared questioningly at Bowser who looked briefly confused before coming to a realization.

"Oh yeah, I forgot you're not from here. Wackabumps are little buns you get by smashing a wacka mole in the head with a hammer, you only get them in Mario games though. Koopa pilaf is herbs and horsetail." After seeing the look on Vanellope's face Bowser elaborated, "Horsetail is an onion." Vanellope relaxed.

"I hate horsetail." Morton grumbled.

"You hate all vegetables Morton, but you're still gonna eat em'." Bowser said sternly. Getting kids to eat vegetables is a challenge all parents have to deal with, even if they are a ten foot fire breathing turtle with gigantic teeth. "If that's it for the interruptions, if you finish off your greens you can have a hot dog and if you didn't do anything truly appalling today you can have a piece of chocolate cake and whatever dessert Vanellope brought." Vanellope could almost feel how everyone in the room suddenly developed a good opinion of her.

The roast wackabumps and pilaf were brought to the table first. The servers gave everyone two bumps and one pilaf as promised. They also brought everyone a glass of bright orange liquid that Jr explained was mango juice. Everyone at the table started talking to someone next to them stopping only to take sloppy bites of their food. Ludwig was the only koopaling who seemed to know the meaning of "table manners." Bowser also knew but just didn't care.

Vanellope bit into a bump experimentally; it tasted like garlic and buttery mashed potatoes. It was crisp on the outside but surprisingly fluffy on the inside. The pilaf tasted like raw spinach and caramelised onions, it was uncooked and made loud crunching sounds in Vanellope's mouth. The mango juice good but would it have killed them to add ice?

Jr kept Vanellope entertained by subtly moving his pilaf with a spoon and stage whispering "It's alive!" He also started a cutlery sword fight, made a hand puppet out of his napkin, and created a game where they used the spoons as catapults to fire cherries into their finished glasses of juice.

"Morton, putting your napkin over your food will not made it go away!" Bowser bellowed, Morton put the vegetables back on his plate sulkily. Soon after everyone had finished their vegetables and Bowser had the hot dogs brought out. Vanellope wondered if their first conversation had something to this.

The hot dogs were tender, juicy, and well seasoned enough that they didn't need ketchup. Jr's imagination triumphed again when he used the buns as sailing vessels for the great sausage grease lake, attached a piece of lettuce to his chin pretending to be the 'Weenie Guru', and used the leftover cherries and butter knives to play miniature hockey.

"Alright kids, you've been cool today so you're all getting dessert." Bowser announced to a cheer from the crowd, "And you better thank Vanellope here for-" he was interrupted by Roy.

"Jr's got a girlfriend! Jr's got a girlfriend!" It was a mocking chant as old as the playground itself, and still as effective as the day it was invented. Many koopaling giggled while Bowser sighed in exasperation. Jr growled at his brother, mostly to buy time to think of a retort. Vanellope didn't need any time at all.

"If that's true," Vanellope started off calmly, "you're single and lonely! You're single and lonely!" She used the same mocking tone Roy had used. Cue the one second long shocked pause before eruption of laughter.

Roy blushed and replied with the usual "Am not!" Respond used mostly by children ages 4 to 15.

After Bowser had gotten everyone to calm down he allowed dessert to be served. Bowser allowed Roy to have dessert, he thought he had been decently humiliated already and taking away the cake would only add insult to injury. Unlike the previous courses when there was conversation, dessert had the undivided attention of all.

Vanellope loved a good chocolate cake, and this cake had all the qualities of one. It was more fudge than cake, there was a bucketload of frosting, and every bite melted in your mouth. Vanellope's pie-cake received a five star review from all, in this situation a five star review means begging for a second helping with big puppy dog eyes. She felt pretty darn proud of herself when she took a bite of it herself. The crust was sweet and buttery, the cake parts were moist and light, the pie filling was flavorful and refreshing, and the meringue was cooked to perfection. Vanellope gave herself a mental pat on the back for a job well done.

Vanellope nearly threw up on the way home. She had eaten waaaaaaay too much. But it had been a really great night. Jr's siblings were crazy and really annoying, but they were also creative and funny. Even Roy played a great game of soccer. Bowser was a friendly guy once you got to know him. And Jr had made the whole thing as easy as possible, not that Vanellope wouldn't have enjoyed a challenge.

Author's notes:

Wow that chapter was long!

Sour Bill's job is to take care of princess Vanellope, even if she is a president now.

Cooking Mama is cooking simulation game that I think is adorable and fun.

In koopa culture fighting is a very important tradition, there is no room for pansies in the palace. Bowser would of course split up any fight between his children that was getting out of hand.

Bowser thinks Vanellope is stronger than she appears, which is true but not to the extent Bowser assumes.

In the cartoon version of Mario Bowser's children referred to him affectionately as "King dad"

All dishes provided by the koopa's can be found in "Super Paper Mario"

I have no idea which Mario game Jr lives in, I just assume it's a mix of all of them.

Sorry if I spent too much time describing the food, but I write during 4th period which is right before lunch so I'm kind of hungry.


	7. Chapter 7

Vanilla Turtles

Chapter 7

Earning Respect

In Eggman's opinion, children were like the strawberries you got when they were out of season. They were rotten, leaky, undergrown, and usually had some sort of unidentifiable gloop on them. This isn't to say Eggman hated children; he was actually rather fond of a few of Bowser's children. But Eggman was a man of logic, routine, and purpose. Children were creatures unfamiliar with the concept of thinking things through, were unconcerned with disrupting or inconveniencing others, and were in severe lack of goals.

Eggman had become mildly familiar with the koopalings after so many years being Bowser's friend. Bowser was actually a surprisingly good friend once you got past the breath-Eggman owed him a few favors because of this. And because Eggman owed him a few favors, they were cashed in.

"Just make sure they don't kill each other." Those were the only instructions Bowser gave. Eggman deduced that asking for anything more would be asking for a miracle. Usually when Bowser needed his kids watched he would leave them with the _Kids Safari Adventure_ characters, but due to a very recent unplugging of said game, plans had to be changed. Roy had been left with Zangief, Larry and Lemmy were with the Pacman ghosts, Morton was dumped on the Mario brothers, and Eggman had to put up with the rest. He had to put up with a music-obsessed snob, a young mad scientist (emphasis on mad), a spoiled brat, and a pint sized vandal. All because the stupid castle needed a stupid monthly inspection. Currently four koopalings were looking up at Eggman expectantly. Eggman searched his childhood memories for inspiration, and he soon came up with a mental list of doomed activities.

"I trust you kids about as far as I can throw your father so I'll be taking the role of banker." Monopoly always seems like a good idea at first. You'd think it would teach math and valuable life lessons on money management. Instead it taught people to cheat and that the only way to succeed in life is by stomping on your competitors.

The first argument sparked when Iggy and Ludwig both wanted the boat piece. Eggman made them settle it with rock/paper/scissors, which started another argument on whether or not 'gun' was a real choice. Then an argument about moral fiber of both koopalings was started. Then Eggman tried to break it up by siding with Ludwig that 'gun' was not a choice in RPS. Then Iggy tackled Ludwig because of the blue haired koopa's smug smile. Finally the game was abandoned entirely.

TV was also abandoned after the sibling's failure to agree on what movie to watch, ball was ended after a window was broken, quiet time was canceled after Wendy whined about it being boring, and hide and seek resulted in Jr getting stuck in one of the vents. It took a half hour to get the poor kid out. By then it was time for dinner, and at least for that brief ten minutes nothing went wrong. Jr asked for a bedtime story at the start of the meal since it would be time to sleep soon. This is when Eggman's vengeful brain gave him a wonderful and cruel idea.

Eggman briefly retreated to his study. It's amazing what you can do in ten minutes, especially if you're an evil genius with a WiFi connection. Eggman had downloaded hundreds of books and movies, illegally but he was videogame character so it wasn't like he could get in trouble. The book he downloaded took two minutes to find and three to download. He took the red, hard cover book out of the air where it had materialized. In a last minute stroke of inspiration he downloaded a 9' by 9' chalkboard.

Eggman felt a bit guilty as he called the koopaling into the living room. Then he heard a shattering sound and all guilt evaporated. "Get in here or it's straight to bed with all of you!" The koopalings scampered in and clustered in front of Eggman. "Since Jr requested a story and I'm not leaving any of you alone in my house, you'll all have to stay for the tale." There was groaning from the older siblings.

"But we're too old for bedtime stories." Wendy complained, I don't know why since being read to has always been a comforting experience for me. And anyways no one says audiobooks are childish.

"Suck it up." Wendy opened her mouth to reply but was interrupted, "One more word and I WILL drag down my hand." He held up the small chalkboard and positioned his fingernails on top. One attempted sentence from Ludwig was all Eggman needed to show the power of his new weapon. "Great, now everyone get in a circle, it's storytime." The way Eggman said 'storytime' was a pretty big hint that mercy had left the building along with, sanity, compassion, and Elvis Presley.

Opening the book to the first page Eggman began reading aloud in as dark and monotone a voice as he could muster. "If it's in a word or it's in a look, you can't get rid of the Babadook." Eggman held up the book to reveal a pop up of an eye to the four confused kids, then turned the page. "If you're a really clever one and know what it is to see, then you can make friends with a special one, a friend to you and me." This page's pop up was half of a humanoid creature's face peering out at you from behind a door. By pulling a small tab, Eggman got the creature to stick out a hand as if it were waving. "A rumbling sound then three sharp knocks BA ba BA Dook! Dook! Dook! That's when you know that he's around, you'll see him if you look." This page had a picture of a rumbling wardrobe, the kids were starting to look uncomfortable. "This is what he wears on top. He's funny. Don't you think?" The pop up of the creature was disturbing and not in any way funny. "See him in your room at night and you won't sleep a wink." The creature was now looming over a child in bed and had a speech bubble saying 'Let ME IN!' charming. "I'll soon take off my funny disguise. Take heed of what you've read, and once you see what's underneath." The newest pop up was even less funny than the last one. "You're going to wish you were dead." It would have been less scary if the last page had had a picture, something to give you a hint of what happened. But instead it let your imagination fill in the blanks, your anxiety insist it was worse than that, and your fear keep you up thinking about it. You'd think Eggman would just stop there and let them have nightmares for one week only but no, Eggman was on a roll. After the kids had gotten into their sleeping bags in the living room, Eggman went down to his workshop to make something special.

Opening your eyes after a bad dream to see something very similar looking down on you from the ceiling cannot be good for the heart. Waking up to the sound of your baby brother screaming in terror isn't pleasant either. Seeing the thing try to snatch your sister is just plain traumatising. It would be boring to give you a description of the chase in detail because it was just the koopalings running around dark hallways screaming and trying to get away from a creepy robot that was programmed to chase but not catch. All that was going through the minds of the kids were internal screams, prayers, and adrenaline. After a while the children were herded to the front door, which they tried to open but were mortified to find it was locked.

They backed against the door as a group and just as the monster looked like it was about to grab them the lights turned on revealing the nightmare to be made of metal. The sound of the intercom coming to life echoed through the base, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I got you back you little brats! That will teach you ingrates not to try to make a fool out of me!" There was another wave of evil laughter before Eggman started talking again, "Now march back to bed or I'll be telling your father how you stayed up past your bedtime." Eggman announced mockingly.

The koopalings stood there frozen for a few seconds before Jr decided to speak, "He just pranked the shrooms out of us. I like him."

Author's Note:

Sorry for the lack of dialogue in this chapter but I'm really bad at dialogue including more than two people.

Eggman and Bowser are two of the oldest characters in the arcade so they've known each other for years. Plus I think they're personalities compliment each other.

The koopalings despise being cared for by anyone but Bowser so they're extra awful when being babysat.

Eggman was trying really hard to be nice here, but even Sonic couldn't have stayed cheery faced with this situation.

"The Babadook" Is a psychological thriller that comes in movie and book forms, do not watch or read the book or movie until you are at least 13. I figured I could recite it here since there wouldn't be any pictures.

By winning against the koopalings in a battle I don't even completely understand, Eggman has earned their respect and even some admiration.


	8. Chapter 8

Vanilla Turtles

Chapter 8

Challenging Yourself

"It's too hooooooooooooot!" Vanellope whined. After mastering the toughest tracks in Sugar Rush, Vanellope was desperate for a challenge, so Jr had invited her to race him in Mario Kart. They were about to race through the special cup and he'd made sure Lakitu would immediately catch Vanellope if she fell off the track. The first stage was Dry Dry Ruins, boiling by human standards, but Jr could take a bath in lava so he had an edge here.

"Now who's a crybaby?" Jr teased from his sprinter. Vanellope stuck out her tongue at him and quickly started to sputter when a sudden wind blew sand right into her face. Jr laughed; this was already a fun day. After Vanellope had gotten the sand out of her mouth Lakitu started the countdown.

3… "You're going down cookie dough face!"

2… "Not in this stage I'm not!"

1… "Eat my Dippin' Dots!"

Go! Copious amounts of sand and dust flew into the air as the two cars rocketed out of the starting gate. Prize blocks were smashed into by both competitors giving Vanellope a banana and Jr a red shell. Jr tossed the red shell toward Vanellope who dropped the banana just as the shell was about to hit her, destroying it. Vanellope kept to the inside of the next turn, avoiding a pokey. She had to swerve a bit to avoid another pokey on the bridge, but managed to grab a prize block containing a mushroom on the next turn.

After avoiding a few falling pillars Vanellope entered into the temple part of the course. Her lead was ended as a swarm of swoopers suddenly crashed into the side of her car. "Holy sugar!" Vanellope shrieked in surprise. She pulled hard to the right to keep from falling over a ledge and crashed straight into a wall. Jr sped past her a second later, giggling maniacally.

Vanellope backed up quickly and accelerated down the road with renewed vigor. Sadly she was slowed down by the piles of sand giving Jr an even bigger lead. After clearing the passage she came into a large room with gigantic pokeys moving around in an even bigger bowl built into the floor. Sand poured down from the ceiling, slowly filling the indentation. Vanellope kept the pedal to the metal as she swerved through the obstacle, coming out on the other side only to be attacked by another group of swoopies. This sent her careening into another wall. She recovered immediately and rocketed back onto the road using her mushroom. She passed the finish line and steeled herself for the next two laps.

Despite her best efforts Vanellope lost the first round. She congratulated Jr by promising to kick his shell on the next track. "Remember garbage-head, the npc cars on this track can run you over like it's nothing, so don't touch em!" Jr warned her. The countdown ended and the racers were off. Vanellope picked up a prize right off the bat, getting a green shell. She avoided the first car with ease and moved smoothly down the road.

She was about to pass the toll gate when she noticed Jr right behind her. She shot her shell right at him sending him backward into a truck. Sorrowfully for Jr once you start getting knocked around by cars in Moonview Highway, it was rather difficult to stop. Vanellope barrelled forward, picking up a red shell prize on the way. She drove over every speed enhancer she could see even after entering the tunnel. She jerkily avoided a few more cars before blasting past the finish line. Vanellope won the other laps, admittedly with many close calls. Jr congratulated her by hitting her car with a shell on the victory lap.

"Don't be such a sore loser," Vanellope berated as they were teleported to the next stage. She took one look at the track and exploded, "That's not fair!" The stage was Bowser's Castle, one of them anyways, he had way too many in Vanellope's opinion.

"Don't be such a sore loser," Jr mocked. The countdown started and the kids got back into their racing positions. The race began with speeding down a hill and up a wooden incline, then driving off into the air and landing on the balcony. Vanellope picked up a banana in a prize block and shot down a hallway that moved like an ocean. It was a bit nauseating.

Vanellope took a hard left and was shocked when a thwomp slammed into the ground right in front of her causing a crash. Jr passed her a quarter of a second later; Vanellope stomped on the gas when the thwomp rose into the air again. Several sharp turns and thwomp avoidances later, Vanellope was thrown off another ramp into a gigantic metal net over a lake of lava while a huge robotic Bowser shot fireballs at her. At least when she fell off the edge Lakitu saved her before she fell into the lava.

After getting past that nightmare Vanellope tried to take the inside of another turn only to swerve desperately to avoid a pillar of fire, then she once again slammed into a grounded thwomp. After dodging more thwomps and driving over a small lake of lava she was nearly barbecued by geysers of lava. She crossed the finish line and switched her goal from winning this round to surviving.

"I think that might have been the worst racing experience of my life." Vanellope told Jr, her wheels had been turned to syrup, her ponytail was burnt, and one of her headlights had been smashed. The koopa pit crew did an almost perfect job repairing it but it was still a blow to Vanellope's pride.

Sensing this was a horrible time to poke fun Jr spoke in a comforting voice, "If it helps, Mario did way worse his first time through this course." That was true, Mario had actually gotten out of his kart after the first lap to take a cold shower and gather courage for another try.

Vanellope smiled at Jr gratefully, "Thanks Jr, that does help." The course vanished and Vanellope gaped at her new surroundings. Rainbow road was simultaneously the most beautiful and most dangerous track in the game. The countdown began before Vanellope could take it all in. There was an ocean of stars, ribbons of shimmering colors, and below them a wonderfully done graphic of the Earth as seen from space turned slowly.

The final count sounded and all Vanellope's wonder was replaced by an overwhelming competitiveness and red hot adrenaline. She flew down a steep slope, rocketing through rings to increase her speed and was propelled off to another part of the road with arches of stars and a sharp left turn, she was so focused on the road she didn't think about the red shell she had acquired until she reached a wavy part of the course and heard a shell coming for her. She shot her shell at it and picked up a banana to replace it almost instantly.

Vanellope shot over another edge and gracefully maneuvered through a figure-eight shaped part of the track. Twists and turns led her through a bright rainbow tunnel and onto another road before soaring through rings of stars. This was what Vanellope loved about racing, the feeling of freedom and thrill that came with it. She felt weightless and for a moment, surrounded by stars, planets, and galaxies. She just felt happy to be there.

The spell was broken as Vanellope landed on the track. She took the road to the right and went over every speed enhancer. She had to wrench her steering wheel to keep control of her car. If it wasn't such an amazing rush Vanellope would have called it too much. As she crossed the finish line she realized why this place amazed her so much. It wasn't the colors, the track, or even the background music, it was the feeling of forever that the background gave her, the feeling that the endless universe would always have a new challenge for her. Forever can be scary, unless you know what you want to do with it.

"Whaddya mean a tie!?" Vanellope demanded. She had completely dominated rainbow road which left the score 2-2.

"Yeah, the even number course thing bugs me too, but if you really wanna get your butt whooped there are seven more cups," Jr announced arrogantly. Vanellope smiled, there was always a challenge.

Author's Notes:

I think that was the fastest I've ever written a chapter.

Vanellope's an adrenaline junkie and thrill seeker, so she gets pretty bored without a challenge. Luckily Mario Kart exists.

The game they're playing is Mario Kart Wii, I'm pretending the game Jr inhabits is all the games in one.

Vanellope didn't glitch because she's trying to CHALLENGE herself, glitching would make things too easy.

The Sprinter is an unlockable kart in MKW, I forget what you have to do to get it.

Admit it! Bowser's castle is a nightmare world and rainbow road is a work of art!


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Daring Duo or Devilish Dunces

Remember the phrase "I triple dog dare you!"? It made no sense and and still doesn't, yet with the threat of being called a chicken hanging in the balance I have seen kids do some really stupid stuff. I personally poked anyone who called me a chicken in the face repeatedly while saying "Peck! Peck! Peck!" over and over. Apparently this idea never occurred to Vanellope and Jr.

"I triple dog dare you to eat dirt!" This was a dare as old as, well, dirt. Well, actually it was as old as dares since dirt is far older and only had to worry about worms until then. Vanellope picked up a mound of dirt without hesitation and bit into it. Jr burst into laughter.

"It's chocolate, gummy bear brains! We're in sugar rush!" Jr stopped laughing, momentarily embarrassed. He just wasted his turn making his opponent eat chocolate. Smooth. "I triple dog dare you to ride skittles!" Vanellope announced confidently.

"What?" Jr's brows furrowed in confusion. Vanellope rolled her eyes.

"Skittles is the uni-candy-corn that lives in the Maize maze, uh doi!" Jr raised an eyebrow, how was that challenging? The only reason Jr could think of for Vanellope choosing this dare was so she could see him do something out of character. Oh Jr, if only you knew.

"So I just have to ride a stupid unicorn?" Jr snarked.

"Uni-candy-corn, and yeah, you have to stay on his back for at least ten seconds," Vanellope amended.

The Maize maze was a candycorn maze smack dab in the middle of a field. It was unnaturally quiet as Vanellope and Jr approached. "It smells like burnt sugar around here," Jr complained as they entered the maze.

"Quit yer whining, it's not that bad!" Vanellope insisted. Suddenly a chubby, rounded, and adorable unicorn-like creature stepped out from behind a turn. It looked at Vanellope and Jr with big round eyes. "There he is!" Vanellope shouted, she pointed at the squishy animal.

Jr smirked, "This is gonna be easy." He ran toward Skittles with full intention of leaping onto the creature's back right away. Skittles faced Jr with the full intention of biting him in half with its newly revealed razor sharp teeth. Skittles roared and started sprinting toward the now fleeing Jr. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

Vanellope watched from on top of a maze wall, "Be careful, it breathes fire!" A fireball shot past Jr's ear.

"Now you tell me!?" Jr bullets through the maze trying to escape the insane candy monster long enough to think of a plan, he has to think of one pretty quickly when he runs into a dead end. Instead of slowing, Jr speeds up and runs up the wall as high as he can. Skittles crashes into the wall, momentarily stunned. Jr flips in the air and lands on the enraged beast's back. Sadly Skittles doesn't like being ridden.

Imagine if you will trying to ride a pinball while its in play, then add an angry horse head trying to eat you and you have Jr's situation. As Jr clung desperately to the nutball animal's back, Vanellope started to count down from ten. She actually counted down quicker than normal seeing her friend was in a serious pickle, but too stubborn to say uncle.

10… Skittles bucked up harshly, 9… Skittles threw his weight from side to side at a breakneck pace, 8… Skittles jumped up and down violently, 7… Skittles tries to bite at Jr but can't reach, 6… Skittles tries doing rapid pace back flips, 5… Skittles slams into the maze walls, 4… Skittles tries slamming Jr into the wall but his shell deflects it easily, 3… Skittles tries somersaulting but Jr's shell protects him effortlessly, 2… Skittles tries running through his own fireballs but Jr is immune, 1… Skittles thrashes around randomly trying to dislodge the koopaling, 0… Jr lets go and is thrown out of the maze by Skittles's bucking.

"If any of that had a chance of hurting you, that would have been so cool," Vanellope says to a face down Jr. Jr groaned but didn't move, he didn't feel like removing his face from the dirt, yet he wanted to get feeling back in his arms first. "Skittles gets bored really easy since nobody takes the maze challenge anymore, right Skittles?" There was a dainty snort and Jr's eyes snapped open. He jumped to his feet and gaped at the sight before him. Vanellope sat on a completely calm Skittles showing no sign of fear. Vanellope smiled at Jr's incredulous expression. "Skittles it technically the _Royal Steed_ so only the ruler of Sugar Rush can ride him. Thanks for playing with him anyways. He's been restless for DAYS." Skittles whinnied sweetly.

"I triple dog dare you to ask Joker why he's dressed like a mime!" There are people in life who think walking across the street during a thunderstorm is daring, then there is Vanellope who would stand on top of a tall hill with a copper umbrella and call Zeus a wuss.

Joker was standing next to the entrance of his game, smiling at passers by to make them uncomfortable. With Batman only ten feet away it was the best he could do. He was almost startled when a high pitched voice came at him from around his knees where something was tugging on his pant leg. "Hey cream cheese face." Joker smiled maliciously at the small girl below him, she just pointed at him and asked, "How come you dress like a colorblind mime?" And in one wonderful moment all hell broke loose.

Vanellope glitched away from the homicidal clown as he grabbed at her. She glitched on to Ganondorf's shoulder without him noticing, then glitched away again when Joker tried to grab her again but ended up tackling the powerful sorcerer instead. By now Batman was on the scene and just in time to dodge shadow blasts with Joker. Most evacuated in order to escape, some stayed to watch, and two characters joined the brawl for fun. Jr and Vanellope watched from a safe distance and even started narrating the fight much like sports hosts would. This made many onlookers laugh.

After a lot of destruction Joker had been carried home by Harley Quinn, Ganondorf had left with a limp, the two aggressive characters were unconscious on the floor, and Batman was… um. "Gotcha!" Jr and Vanellope flinched as the caped crusader grabbed them by their shell and hoodie. "I don't know what you two thought you were doing but both of you are in serious trouble."

"Let go you big cough drop!" Vanellope struggled and screamed but didn't glitch, that would mean abandoning Jr who was flailing his short arms with no effect. The duo was carried toward the entrance of the Mushroom Kingdom, and this caused a lot more struggling on Jr's part. Batman's grip remained strong as they made their way to Bowser's castle.

Bowser was signing paychecks to his soldiers when one jogged into his office looking annoyed. "Sir!" The koopa saluted, "There appears to be a character of the heroic persuasion closing in on the castle. He's carrying prince Jr and Vanellope but they look more afraid of coming to the castle than the hero sir." Bowser groaned in frustration, if it wasn't one thing it was another.

Bowser stood, "Thanks Paul, you're dismissed." Paul gave his king a casual salute and left quickly to get back to his post. Bowser galumphed swiftly downstairs to meet the poor schmuck who had fallen victim to one of his kids. He reached the front yard just in time to see Batman walk through the open gate with a nervous Jr in one hand and a pouting Vanellope in the other. "What did he do this time?" Bowser asked wearily.

Batman's expression didn't change, "He dared his friend," Vanellope waved at Bowser innocently, "to ask THE JOKER why he _dressed like a mime_." Bowser's mouth twitched, "They then tricked the clown into attacking Ganondorf." Bowser held back a snicker. "Then they narrated the fight as if it was a baseball match, taunting the brawlers and calling them names like _Halloween decoration_ and _seltzer brains_." Bowser exploded into laughter. "Sir this is serious!"

Bowser looked the caped crusader in the face still chortling, "Heck yeah it's serious!" He jovially slapped the dark knight on the back, making Batman momentarily lose balance. "Seriously hilarious!"

Author's notes:

Gotta love cartoon violence and slapstick.

Skittle was originally part of a challenge for Ralph by King Candy but was cut from production. You can see Skittles in deleted scenes from the movie.

It's common knowledge who Bowser is, he's part of one of the oldest games in the arcade.

If no one gets hurt (who doesn't bring it upon themselves) Bowser views his children's antics as funny or clever.


	10. Chapter 10

Vanilla Turtles

Chapter Ten

Telepathy Or Tomfoolery

Jr swiped his fan brush across his paper to more accurately paint Skittle's tail. Vanellope was next to him making a painting of a piranha plant. Jr peaked at Vanellope's paper and frowned in confusion, after deciding that Vanellope must be doing abstract art he refocused his attention back on his own work and continued to paint. After a few more minutes of amiable silence Vanellope picked up her painting by the corners, Jr noticed and instinctively lifted the other end of the paper to equal height.

"What do you think you're doing airhead?! You almost got paint all over the floor!" Jr demanded angrily, having loose paint run down the paper made for a good effect but it wasn't worth his big fluffy carpet. Vanellope looked momentarily shocked before realization dawned.

"Sorry, I thought you were supposed to carry it like that." Vanellope moved her arms to the correct places while Jr just stared at her with disbelief. Then he noticed that Vanellope had only one brush in her water cup, her paint palette was a mess, and her painting had no background.

"You're a noob!" Jr pointed at his friend accusingly. Then he saw Vanellope's expression, "An art noob I mean!" He held his hands beside his head to communicate he wasn't looking for a fight. Vanellope rolled her eyes.

"What did you expect, I'm a racer not sissy Leonerdo da fishy. And what gives you the right to call me a noob anyways?" She put her painting down on the desk near the window. After hearing the horrible pronunciation Jr realized this is what it must be like for Ludwig to talk to one of his siblings about music… Or Iggy with machines, or Roy with professional fighting, or Wendy with fashion, or Larry with math, or Lemmy with acrobatics, or Morton with storytelling… He now knew what it was like to see someone fail at his passion and not think their ignorance was a bad thing. It was really REALLY annoying.

"He's called _Leonardo Da Vinci,_ it is NOT sissy, and have you not looked at the walls at all?" Jr's room was practically wallpapered with his paintings from over the years. He had began with spray paint but quickly moved to watercolor, oils, and acrylics. Vanellope looked around the room in shock and amazement.

"You made all this?" She continues to stare at the walls with a new appreciation knowing Jr had done it himself. "I thought it was just really cool wallpaper!" Jr had actually begun using his ceiling to hang his art recently, it was working fine but it wouldn't last long. "What are you painting right now?"

Jr moved to block his latest creation from Vanellope's view. "Admit art isn't sissy and I'll show you." Vanellope pointed to a painting of an erupting volcano.

"Did you make that?" Jr responded automatically.

"Yeah."

"Then art definitely isn't sissy, now show me your new one!" Jr stepped aside so Vanellope could see. It was a painting of Skittles baring his fangs and breathing fire while trampling innocent candy people. "That. Is. AWESOME!" Vanellope tried to pick it up but Jr slapped her hand away, she didn't seem to care. "He's all GRAAH, and the candy people are all EEEK, and then backgrounds all FWOOSH!" The background was a flaming candy cane forest. "Could you paint me like that?!" Vanellope asked excitedly.

Jr looked past his new canvas and sniggered at how Vanellope struggled to sit still in her stool. "You're a terrible model." Vanellope scowled.

"Well I'm not used to sitting still; it's boring. Entertain me!" Jr glared.

"Jeez Vanellope, who died and made you- Oh yeah…" Sometimes Jr forgot that Vanellope was an accessory to a king's murder, even if it was an evil imposter with a bad attitude. "But what am I supposed to do? I'm painting here!" Jr held up one of his acrylic paints for emphasis.

"You're entertaining me right now by talking, uh doi!" Jr wished his hands were clean enough for him to facepalm.

"Well what do you wanna talk about?" Jr asked wearily.

"I didn't know you could paint, what else don't I know about you?" Vanellope prompted.

"I used to eat mint toothpaste and… That's all I got." He shrugged, the only secrets he had belonged to other people.

"Oh come on, even I have stuff you don't know about me." Vanellope pestered.

"Oh please, I know everything about you. You're an open book!" Jr snickered.

"Then what's my favorite color?" Vanellope asked to test the waters of knowledge.

"Cerulean." Jr answered.

"Bless you." Once again the urge to facepalm rose.

"Aqua blue." He tried again.

"My favorite food?"

"Cookie dough icecream."

"My best friends?"

"Ralph and I."

"My worst enemy?"

"Taffeta."

"My least favorite candy?"

"Red hots."

"Okay that's pretty impressive, but I bet you don't know the name of my first kart!" Vanellope announced triumphantly.

"The Lickety split, you built it yourself but Taffeta destroyed it which is why she's your worst enemy. Are we done now?" Jr answered annoyed. Vanellope slumped in defeat but quickly became chipper again.

"I know all about you though so we're even." Vanellope confidently reassured herself. Jr grinned mischieviously.

"What's my favorite color?" Vanellope narrowed her eyes at him and delved deep into her memory to defeat the new challenge.

"Orange."

"Food?"

"Cheep and chips!"

"Best friends?"

"Me and your siblings!"

"Worst enemy?"

"Kamek with a lesson plan."

"Least favorite candy?"

"Grape lollipops!"

"Congratulations you win a year's supply of absolutely nothing!" Jr deepened his voice to sound like a game show host. Vanellope blew a raspberry at him.

"I still know everything about you!" she mocked, but then hesitated. "Except for why you paint in the first place. I race because I like excitement but what's so amazing about painting?"

Jr sighed dramatically as if Vanellope had asked him something painfully obvious. "Because I get to do whatever I want, there aren't any instructions or limits. And if you make a mistake, it's not a mistake, it's an opportunity for a different kind of piece. It's not demanding or stressful, it's just me and my brain doing weird things on a piece of paper." Art didn't order you around, or ignore you, or judge. Art didn't have expectations or goals. Art was whatever you wanted it to be, and it relaxed into whatever shape that was.

"That was deep man." Vanellope nodded her head sagely, "So when can I get out of this chair?" She asked impatiently.

"In a minute, I'm almost done." Jr said, Vanellope beamed and sat still again. There was a pause, "Your eyes are a nightmare to paint, I can't tell if they're brown or green." Jr complained, "I would be done by now if you had just stuck with one color." Jr didn't actually care but the silence needed to be filled.

"Not all of us can have weird little black dots for eyes, and thank goodness for that!" Vanellope retaliated.

"At least my eyes don't take up half my face, but in your case that might be a good thing." Jr grins, enjoying the banter.

"Says the kid eyebrows the size of my arms." Vanellope giggles at her own wit.

"Said the pot to the kettle, anyways the paintings done." Jr grinned and stepped back from the art quickly as Vanellope glitched right in front of it. It was of Vanellope Driving her kart and making a harsh turn while looking at the point of perspective and smirking victoriously.

"Cool!" a beat, "Wait a minute how'd you paint the kart and background stuff if it wasn't here?" she asked suspiciously.

Jr looked like he was trying not to laugh, "I can paint from memory."

"Then why did I have to sit in a stool for an hour?!" She demanded in exasperation.

"You didn't." Jr chortled and guffawed loudly at his prank. Vanellope tackled him and they wrestled for several minutes trying to pin the other. Eventually Vanellope was standing on his shell with her feet between his spikes, one hand gripping his hair and the other pulling his tail.

"Say uncle!" Vanellope snapped, but didn't yank enough to hurt him.

"Uncle! Uncle! Just -hehe- let go!" Jr was still finding humor in his trick despite what it had earned him.

Vanellope was going to demand more but caught site of the clock, "Sweet mother of monkey milk I gotta get back to Sugar Rush!" She got off and took the now dry painting off the easel. She held it face up over her head and rant to the doorway before turning back briefly. "I'm keeping this! Smell ya later!" Jr stared after her, processing what just happened.

"Hey wait a second!" He tried to shout after her, his delayed reaction was pointless since she was already halfway out of the castle. Jr rolled his eyes and sat up. He soon heard a loud thumping coming near his room. Bowser had probably heard the ruckus and was coming to check up on him.

"What was all that noise? Where's Vanellope?" Bowser noticed the time, 10:00. "And why aren't you in bed?"

"Vanellope got mad because I told her to pose for the picture I was making for her." Jr admitted, not looking his dad in the eyes.

"But you can paint from memory." Bowser raised an eyebrow.

"Exactly." Jr couldn't help but snicker again.

"Jr-" Bowser stated in a stern voice.

"She stopped being mad after winning _Say Uncle_!" Jr blabbed, then wished he could sink into the floor. He'd just admitted to being defeated.

"That is one tough nine year old." Bowser muses aloud, "Where's the painting?"

"She took it with her when she left." Jr shrugged. Bowser picked Jr up gently by the shell, he often did this with his children. Mostly to carry them to bed like he was doing now, separate fights, and transport them to their rooms if they were grounded. He also picked them up subconsciously sometime when deep in thought, this was annoying until the koopalings started making jokes about it. When they were picked up they'd say things like "Mush!" or "I don't remember hailing a cab." or even "While making his way through the milky way, spaceman Morton was ambushed by the Spiked Planet Eater, terror of the universe!" these earned a laugh and a comeback from Bowser.

"While at least she isn't mad, you make anything else?" Bowser tucked his son into bed, smiling at his youngest child.

"I made a painting of Vanellope's Uni-candy-corn Skittles." Jr free'd his arm from the blankets in order to point at the painting laying on the desk. Bowser automatically brought the blankets around Jr again earning an eye roll.

Bowser stomped to the desk and picked up the dry watercolor. "Why is it breathing fire?" Bowser asked, amused.

"Because that's what he did when I tried to ride him, I don't get how Vanellope can handle that thing. It acts flippin rabid when anyone besides her gets near it!" Jr freed his arms from the cozy confines yet again so he could gesture with his claws.

"Vanellope rides a ferocious monster, can wrestle you to the ground, and call Joker a mime to his face?" Bowser questioned in disbelief. Jr nodded slowly not sure where this was going. "Boy, you'd better marry that girl when you grow up." Bowser said seriously.

Jr went wide eyed in horror, "EW! Dad, gross!" Jr exclaimed, shocked and disgusted. He is a nine year old boy after all.

"Calm down Jr, I'm just kidding around." Bowser ruffled his son's hair affectionately. He also made a mental note to read the kid an extra long story the next night for lying to his face. He would never admit he hadn't actually been joking, at least until after the ceremony. "You do anything else with your little buddy." Bowser tucked Jr in for the final time.

"Well we asked each other a bunch of questions to pass time while she was _posing_." Jr grinned deviously, why was that still funny?

"Like what?" Bowser asked, turning off the bedside lamp.

"Like what are favorite colors are and junk." Jr yawned a bit.

"What's her favorite color?" Bowser asked absent mindedly as he made his way to the doorway. He put his claw on the main light switch and waited for the answer to the final question.

Before Jr could stop himself he answered, "Cerulean."

"Bless you."

Author's Notes:

Hey everybody! This is the final chapter of the story but I might write a fic where Vanellope and Jr are older. But that won't be for a while.

Jr first appeared in _**Super Mario Sunshine**_ where he used graffiti to create creatures to fight Mario and cause trouble. I can't imagine Jr giving up art even though he was defeated, he just looked like he was having so much fun!

Calling a video game character a noob is not the brightest idea, especially when they can kick your butt.

I imagine each koopaling has their own passion, they just show it differently.

If I were Vanellope I would never have forgiven Taffyta, and I'm actually a very forgiving person. But Taffyta put Vanellope down in any way she could for no reason other than her own enjoyment. I've been bullied pretty badly but nobody's ever done anything like that to me, and based on how I felt when someone did something much less drastic to me, I was shocked and touched by Vanellope's capacity to forgive.

We got a bit deep with the whole art thing, but it's the final chapter and I wanted to summon _**The Feels**_.

Yes, Morton narrates his imaginary fantasies aloud much like Calvin from _**Calvin and Hobbes**_.

Bowser won't force the kid's together but he will be watching closely and hopeing.

I love making Bowser do fatherly things, it's so sweet! :)

Little boys think girls are gross, it's a law of the universe.

Rate, review, and write about these two! I hate being the only person to write about them! They have so much potential!


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